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Give up the blame game

Do you blame yourself or others when things go wrong?

Would you like to stop?

Then this might be for you.

Blame is like glue, easy enough to apply but not so easy to remove. But while blame seeks to make it the other person’s fault, in truth, aren’t we trying to absolve ourselves from any responsibility?

This was my reason for blaming others. I did it for years and still can if I’m truthful.

When things went wrong I’d look for someone else to be responsible. Even when I knew I’d said or done something I shouldn’t, I’d still try and make it their fault. It couldn’t have been mine because that was too painful to contemplate.

However, it was only painful because I was judging myself as wrong or bad in the situation, instead of focusing on the issue itself. That’s why it became necessary for me to blame you, so that I could avoid feeling uncomfortable with being a ‘wrong or bad’ person.

What I didn’t realise though was that in blaming you, I wasn’t taking responsibility for myself. As long as you were responsible, I was just an innocent victim.

Yet this is the attitude which kept me stuck.

By trying to avoid being responsible, I was missing a precious opportunity to grow.

No need to blame, it’s just a lesson to learn

When I awoke to the understanding that there is NO blame on either side, that it’s merely an opportunity to grow, that was when my world changed.

Now my experience is that everything contains a lesson, a higher learning opportunity.

Once you’ve awakened to the lesson, the situation no longer occurs in your life as it did in the past.

Through awakening you learn to accept yourself and others without the need for blame, because there is no blame.

No need to blame others either

They may still behave as they do, but instead of blaming them, you’ll be aware of the higher truth in the matter. That it’s a lesson to teach you something within yourself that needs to change.

No need to worry about their part. Not blaming them doesn’t mean they don’t have a part to play, they do, of course they do.

But it’s their part, not yours. What I’m saying here is that you only need to accept your lesson. They have a lesson as well for it’s the same landscape for us all, is it not?

But whether or not they learn it is up to them.

You are your business. You need only see what your lesson is and change.

In becoming responsible . . .

You’ll gain the understanding that if they could do it better they would, because this is what you’re learning about yourself as you continue to do the work. This is your truth.

When you learn to give up blame, accept responsibility for yourself, look for the lesson and move forward, your self awareness grows.

As you experience the sense of inner freedom that comes with expanding awareness, you’ll begin to see yourself and others in this new light.

Understanding the spiritual lesson

From the deeper, spiritual aspect, it’s about understanding that blaming from the mind “It’s your fault, it’s my fault” etc, is to use your human knowledge and understanding only.

But as your awareness deepens, understanding grows, and you begin to see your life through a higher wisdom, your spiritual wisdom.

In reality this is the point of the lesson, to learn to discern between using human knowledge and understanding, or spiritual wisdom.

Whilst one leads to inner peace and connection, the other will only lead to more of the same; inner chaos and confusion, self doubt, and lack of love for yourself and others.

Through having the willingness to practice becoming self responsible, you move towards your higher self, your True Self, which is connected to an energy of unconditional love, gratitude, humility, and acceptance.

As you practice you’ll come to realise that it’s a gift to see your life this way.

Not always easy I grant you, but always worth it!

Such is the paradox of life’s lessons.


As always, thoughts, comments? Love to hear from you below.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Leslie Clary

    Wow! This was a really timely post for me. I’ve had some big lessons in blame lately and realized one of the things I do is not put up boundaries early on in a relationship — any kind, personal, business, then I explode at some seemingly innocuous thing. When I began to see what the part I play in all this — and how the same thing keeps coming up, it makes it easier to move on.

    1. Deb Hill

      Oh yes, spot on Leslie. When I begin to see my part I realise that I don’t know what I don’t know, so no point in beating myself up over it. When it’s time to learn the lesson the universe will arrange for the right book, phone call or blog post *smile*, to cross my path.

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