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How to be accepting in life

It’s taken ages to write this article because it’s not easy to accept what life throws your way.

However, when I learn acceptance I become more peaceful, more content.

Regardless of what’s happening or whether I like it or not, by accepting circumstances as they are and not as I’d like them to be, I remain sane!

Such is the power of acceptance and yet it’s often misunderstood, for while it seems like a passive action, it is anything but passive.

In situations such as relationship breakups, dealing with other people’s negativity, or losing a job, it’s not easy just going with the flow.

Nonetheless, to accept the reality of life as it is will pay off in the long run. As someone who spent much of life running from the unpleasant, it’s a joy to discover that the easiest way to handle life’s difficulties is to accept them without judging, myself or others!

But don’t hear me saying you can’t do anything about the situation. You can take action, but just acknowledge your thoughts and feelings first.

Learning to be accepting takes time. Yet when we become willing to accept what’s happening, in a step by step manner, progress begins.

Live life from an accepting perspective

When you learn to look at life from your true Self, you develop the awareness that there are NO coincidences in life. This understanding is developed through various practices, acceptance being one of them, especially in difficult situations.

So let’s take a brief look at the following scenarios.

When a relationship ends

Going through a breakup is never easy and emotionally it takes time. Accept this and allow yourself to feel what you feel. Although you want to avoid the pain, try to resist doing so. In the long run the easiest way is to keep it real. It’s a painful experience but that’s okay for now, this too shall pass, as they say.

In time you’ll move forward but it begins with acceptance of the situation as it is. It’s over, and you need to move on.

Do what you need to do to keep yourself sane and well. Pray, meditate, see friends, or talk to others. May I also suggest you write your feelings down so get a journal and write. Things are more manageable when we get them out of our head and onto paper.

How to deal with negative people

The behaviour of others can be upsetting, especially if they know how to press our buttons.

However if I look for the lesson instead of dwelling on their behaviour, I move along faster and freer.

Truth is, I have no control over what other people think, say, or do, and I don’t need to. I let them be who they are (accept them) while accepting who I am in that moment. They are who they are, not as I would have them be!

If I don’t like their behaviour, I find an exit. I don’t have to stay!

Acceptance doesn’t mean putting up with negative behaviour. You can leave the room and accept that it’s okay to do so without the need to feel guilty, think that you’re the cause of it, or that it’s your responsibility to fix them.

We are each responsible for our own behaviour, no one else’s.

When you lose your job

The initial reaction to losing a job is usually one of fear. Fear of financial insecurity rears its head, telling us the end is nigh.

Throughout my working life I’ve lost several positions.

Yet . . . here I am today, running a business which I’m passionate about. And the jobs I’ve had (Graphic Designer, Bookkeeper, Social Worker, Counsellor), I’m able to put to good use, right here. This is because . . .

Everything is temporary

Nothing’s permanent, everything changes; nowhere is this more obvious than in nature. As the tree moves through the different seasons, the changes are reflected without.  One moment you’re enjoying colourful Autumn leaves, and the next, they’re falling, heralding the beginning of winter.

Similarly, many things will alter who you are throughout your life. That’s why we need to develop the ability to truly accept whatever comes to us in the present, understanding that it will benefit us in the future.

Though we may not like what’s happening at this moment, because ego tells us life has to look like this or that, the door that’s closing is the beginning of something new.

Through practice of whatever comes to me in an accepting way, I’m learning that there’s a higher plan than mine and it’s a much better plan, as it turns out!

To accept the reality of our lives is the simplest way to live . . .

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Tim

    I work a twelve step program and lots of what you have said goes without saying fits my life in so many ways. I have looked all over and lost a lot of good time looking at computer’s, reading books, talking to professional, looking for serintiy. Thinking I was doing something wrong not understanding why I didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. Then a friend told to just quit looking and accept thing as they where not as I would have it. The serintiy preyer even says it if you read all of it. This is a real good article, thank you.

    1. Deb Hill

      Thank you Tim, I know the serenity prayer well.
      My problem for years was I wanted to change the things I couldn’t accept!
      It took a lot of time to learn to accept that everything is exactly as it should be, whether I like it or not.
      Sounds like you’ve got a wise friend there!

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